Threats, Manipulation & Triangulation.
No Closure No Financial Settlement
When I had been threatened with the words, "Don't fuck about with me, I'm in control, you do as I say, or I can throw you out onto the streets" I was shocked. It had only been a matter of days from his four-sentence discard speech.
The Discard speech.
"I've got something to tell you. I'm in love with another woman. We can remain friends if you want to remain friends. We just can't have sex anymore" Totally out of the blue. The same evening he asked me to sit on his knee & give him a kiss in front of our friends.
Two days after the discard he was writing a letter which started. "Dear Loren," in the letter he was offering to pay £35,000 to pay off a UK mortgage on what would have been my retirement income but only after I left the house. He offered 50% of the value of our Spanish home.
He also paid for a "Breakthrough Transformation Therapy Session" with an NLP practitioner, hypnotherapist and coach. The same coach he had seen in the UK the weekend before he returned to Spain. Why?
So I could have the success in business that I've always wanted. 🤣🤣
I talked to the "coach" about an idea to start a Retreat Business. She thought it sounded like a wonderful idea. My thoughts were I could stay in the property & raise the funds to pay 50% of the value. I just needed help. I offered Ex a 30% stake in my UK property in return for the mortgage redeemed. I had by then obtained a redemption figure. £28,500, not £35.000 he had offered in his letter which he would pay AFTER I LEFT THE HOUSE.
A carrot dangling. Leave & I'll pay this. Of course, I couldn't leave I had no income it was 2020.
No one was moving homes it was Covid lockdown. I had already asked him if he would pay the £28,500 before he left. So at least I would have an income while the house was on the market. He refused, and told me he couldn't do that. I was being manipulated.
How come he had money to pay £35,000 if I left? But wouldn't secure a small monthly income before he would leave me in Spain to move into the home of his newfound love of his life. I sent my offer by email because on the day I wanted to talk with him
I found him sitting in the games room talking to someone over his iPad. As I walked in he looked up & then casually introduced me to the new "supply" Saying "Dehlia this is Loren, Loren this is Dehlia." Then I heard her squeaky voice saying "I think you're doing remarkably well" I looked at him and said, "I'll send you an email" I turned around and walked out. At this point, I had no idea about narcissistic behaviour, or triangulation, which is what he had just done. #disrespectful
